Give and Accept

If you ask me, the Lord of the Rings movies would be much better if condensed down to 2 movies.  The trilogy just seems excessive.   We could have the Fellowship of the Two Towers and then the Return of the King.  Or we could just condense it into one smash hit titled The Fellowship of the Two Kings.  I'm all about being concise.  I had never really seen any of the lord of the rings movies until the past two weeks.  Surprising, maybe because often the first thing people told me when I told them I was going to New Zealand was, "You know the Lord of the Rings was filmed there."  To which I often answered, "I'm aware. The guy to your immediate right and his mother both informed me twice."  At least I wish sometimes I had said that.

Dunedin has finally stepped up to fill the previously vacant position of "home" in the month of May.  Or maybe I finally stepped in the door and took off my coat to stay a while.  Before the break there were aspects of home with me,  I had a few good friends and a familiar flat and warm bed to come back to at the end of the day, but it seemed more like I was still a visitor in someone's home.   I was more cautious of what I said around people who I just met, and while I wandered and explored the house, I kept my hands mainly clasped behind my back so as not to break anything.  Just watching.  After returning from Australia, I feel I've really taken off the shoes and claimed the joint as my own.  Not in an arrogant way, but a comfortable way.  Nothing with Dunedin has changed though so it must be something on the personal level that has.  With the funds and temperature running a bit lower than in February, the incentive to travel has been a bit less and naturally the time around friends has been a bit more.  Everything and everyone seems so much more real now.   Each day we get a better feel for just who the heck it is we've been spending our time with.  Personally, I consider you at friend status if I can take the safety off the dumb jokes gun and just fire at will, without fear of judgement.  Then I'll consider you a good friend if you return fire.  While I haven't even left Dunedin yet this month, I think it's been one of the most exciting because of how well I've gotten to know people and hopefully how well people think they are getting to know me.  It's amazing then, once we have that group of people who we know will accept us, our confidence in other areas of life just explodes.  Suddenly it seems like a whole new world is opened up. I wish I had opened it up faster. I admire people who jump headfirst into friendships right from the start, with few reservations.  Hopefully, I'll be one of those people one of these days.   I think it first starts with not judging myself too harshly.  A quote from a Luc and the Lovingtons song says it best: "We can realize how we treat ourselves is the same way we treat everybody else."  Sometimes after doing something a little strange or off beat I still find myself asking myself, "Who DOES that???"  It took me a while to be comfortable with the answer, "No one!!"  I'm still not completely comfortable with it, but individuality is too awesome of a gift not to share with people!  I'll never get anywhere in life just copying the same things Frank* says or does.  Likewise, I won't learn much if I expect Frank to be just like me or just like someone else.  "Give and take" may not be the best way to describe relationships with others. Sure the giving is fine but what the heck am I stealing from my friends?  I prefer to use, "Give and accept."  Once that happens, I think our circle of friends will grow tremendously and our sense of comfort and home becomes a lot more mobile.  I hope everyone feels good now, because you should.  Have a great day! Sending love your way.  

*Frank is not in reference to anyone in particular but rather just a default name for the sake of an example.