The Homecoming

It may not have felt good physically to be back in America since I had only slept a couple hours and my feet were swollen, it sure did feel comfortable to be once again among my countrymen, non-slanted outlets, familiar accents (or lack there of), and seeing the word organized spelled with a 'z' instead of an 's'.  Immediately though, I did notice things were different than my adopted college country.  It didn't seem just like the same old same old but more like somewhere with an identity.  A few initial observations about people in America's airports:
- People, particularly strangers grasping for something to talk about, talk A LOT about their occupations.  I feel it definitely comes up in conversation in NZ but I never heard anyone carry a 30 minute conversation about, "oh what do you do there?", "we were involved in a great project", "we're looking to expand".  Maybe my views will change once I'm in the work force but I think the kiwis might be on to something when they talk more about life outside of the office.
-Busy people.  Where do people have to be and why do they have to be there so gosh darn quick?  When I worked at the nursery and there was nothing to do, me and my co-workers would often walk around doing nothing in particular but always walking quickly and with a busy face on.  We did this to avoid getting sent home for lack of things to do.  People I saw in America right off the bat were wearing their busy faces in full force that extra long Thursday and were wearing them seriously.
-"Why isn't this up to the standards I think I deserve?"  On numerous occasions, people didn't think the service they received was up to snuff and let someone know about it.  One lady waited around and confronted the pilot about a joke he had made on the intercom. Another lady made the person at a restaurant kiosk remove the lettuce she didn't order from her burger.  Take off your own damn lettuce! People make mistakes.  Several people were terse, frustrated, or downright angry at the people representing the airlines for check-in and checking bags.   Anyway, a lot of people expect things to be perfect for them. What does the world owe you, my friend?  And what have you done for it lately?
-Diversity.  I mean this in the most appreciative way possible, but it was great to see black people again. NZ's isolation doesn't exactly create the most racially and culturally diverse environment.  Sure I'll miss the kiwis and the maori, but I think the airports in America really showcase the different backgrounds, lifestyles, and ideas you get depending on where you go in the country.  This makes for fantastic people watching.
-Sarcasm at its finest.  There's just this certain sense of humor I found time an time again with the people in on the plane, selling food, or working security that verges on cynical but I just find it so funny sometimes.
-Mexican food.  Hard to come by in NZ.
-Cute girls in sun dresses.  Gotta love summer.  A welcome sight to my winter wearied eyes.
-There was definitely a lot more chatter on the planes in New Zealand.  Not sure why but it was kindof nice.  Although the young lad in front of me had his ear talked off by some crazy man all the way from Dunedin to Auckland.   Not always a good thing.
-Friendly mid-westerners.

Now some favorite things about home:
-Family
-Friends
-A warm house
-Good smelling towels.
-A stocked pantry
-Front yards and back yards.
-Baseball
-Reuniting with my blanky.
-Cereal and Cheez-its (not necessarily together).
-Beautiful fields.  I really enjoyed my drive from Omaha to Ames last saturday.  Maybe I've taken these amber waves of grain for granted.
-Barbeques and corn on the cob and root beer.
-Playing drums again.
-Riding my bike.
-Did I mention friends and family?

It's safe to say I'm really really enjoying being home.  More than I thought I would.  I don't think that speaks of the inferiority of New Zealand, it's a beautiful place with beautiful people, but rather to how great the things I have going for me are here.  In the coming days and months I'm bound to see things I appreciate more and see other things where I would like to introduce something I learned in NZ.  Why do we do things this way?  I do think I am a different person.  Different because I believe I've learned things about myself.  Ideally the end of each day would be a death of the person I was before and my awakening the birth of a new person closer to the better person I someday hope to be.  This process I believe is just easier to see in a 4 month span in a foreign place with new experiences.  However as my friend Pete told me, I have only really found myself in my New Zealand setting.  How my trip will affect who I will become at home has yet to be discovered.  This might call for another blog, we'll see.  For now, I'll be signing of from the witty, Pulitzer deserving New Land, New Zeal.   While this blog has been mainly about me, the beautiful thing about me being home is that we can now communicate face to face and you can tell me about what's been going on in your life for the last four months*.  I would love to tell you about my experiences but I would also love to hear about yours.  So lets shake the dust of this crummy little blog and get together.  We have so much more to share than stories.  Thanks for reading and I love you all.

--Daniel --


*Thanks again Peter.

The Departure

1:30 am Omaha time and my body is still telling me it's a sleepy 6:30 pm.  Tomorrow when it's time to get up I'll be about as lively as a tranquilized polar bear in the heat of the equator.  For those of you have have not hugged hello or goodbye, I have now left New Zealand and have arrived safe and sweaty in Omaha.  When did 78 degrees (roughly 25 for you Centigrade users) get to feel so hot?  Maybe it was when I shivered my self to sleep in my bed in NZ.  My departure was bitter and my arrival was sweet.  Only in that manner was my leaving New Zealand bitter-sweet.  It didn't really hit me at the time of the goodbyes how large the distance and time between me and my new friends might grow but locking my room for the last time sure nailed it in to me.  If that didn't work the sight of the hills around Dunedin growing smaller and smaller as the plane climbed did.  I probably wasn't as ready to come home on June 23rd as I was on May 4th.  Fresh off my trip to Australia with two papers staring me in the face and two cold and wet months of Dunedin ahead of me, I was starting to realize how long four months can seem.   June had me reminded me how short four months can be when surrounded by the right people.  Special shout out to the flat next door (numba 6) for occupying my time, lending me power for my laptop, and donating prime real estate for our study fort.  I think May and June went by faster than any previous month in NZ because of how much closer I felt to the people I met there.  I'm not going to get all wishy washy so things aren't awkward next time I talk to one of these people who's mention is implied, but I really enjoyed getting to know these people.  If you are one of "these people" you really mean a lot to me. Some people were very different from friends I have in Omaha or Ames, and some people would blend right into my usual crowd.  But I cherish everyone and they all taught me as much as they've made me laugh. Which was a lot.   I believe we have a reunion already planned in Brazil at some point.  Pinky promised it so you know it's real.

Fortnights and Final Finals

Omaha wakes up as Dunedin settles down to sleep.  I don't have anything in particular to write tonight.  I think I will begin studying tomorrow for my final final.  The exam is on Monday and is 40% of my grade.  I'm not worried.  Although it is a little disappointing that I'm still taking finals in the teens of June.  This is what I get for frolicking around Colombia and learning to cross country ski in January.  These last few days have been reminiscent of January, not because I was traveling over dirt roads through the Colombian countryside but because of the excess time on my hands.  We made a fort in my neighbor's flat a week ago which was easily one of the more fun things I've done this month.  Even with a whole country to explore the best fun is sometimes puttsing around the living room figuring out how to position a hockey stick so it holds up a sheet without falling down.  Although Elise and I tend to get wayyyy too in to these kind of things also, maybe it shouldn't have been that fun.  Now, it is time for another fun activity.  Sleep! Tomorrow I hope to wake up and go to this bakery that is only open on fridays and get some wicked Almond Croissants. Love ya. 

P.S. This post reminds me that New Zealanders often use the word "fortnight", as in 2 weeks.  Not often actually but compared to the near extinction from the American English vocabulary it's used quite often.   Anyway, thought I'd share.  Be home in a half-fortnight if there is such a thing.  Maybe half a fortnight is just a tentnight or housenight or something.  Bad jokes...bye! 

Participatory Painting

1:05 am on the 14th of June and I swear just a few hours ago it was 1:05 on the 13th.  The days are dropping from the pages of my calendar as if they weren't even bound in the first place.  I set sail for the states 10 days from now.  I'm excited for home but I feel my departure will feel like a treadmill that suddenly stops in the middle of your workout.  I'm weary to brace myself or slow down before the stop because I don't want to miss any minute of the last week.  I'd rather hit the flight home full stride; there is much still to see and do.  Sunday afternoon I went with some friends up to Mt. Cargill, I think one of the highest "peaks" in the Dunedin area.  About 760 meters or so. A substantial elevation gain when you consider the neighboring Pacific Ocean.  Over the last trip with Usch and Charlotte we did some tracks that never really summited, we had some cool views but we never reached the top of anything.  They were nice walks but this trip to Cargill reminded me what is so special about climbing peaks:  the unique opportunity to see the world in symphony.  I could see the fields, hills, trees, rivers, peninsula, bay, wind, birds, and ocean all as a part of beautiful and natural composition.  Everything had a place, it was truly remarkable.  The hills were not just another plot of land that sat alone in there importance but were a part of a larger more important picture.  Take out one of the hills and it would be like taking out one of Mona Lisa's eyes.  It's easy to forget about all the things that are dependent on that hill or call it home.  The birds live in the tree that takes root in the hill that guides the river that flows to the ocean that provides the clouds that make the rain that the birds and trees get their nourishment from.  To me it seems the Painter of this picture did not put one brush stroke out of place.  I think the sciences-- biology, chemistry, physics, etc.-- are all just separate disciplines examining a small part of the perfection of the world.  So here I sat on a rock on a mountain, observing the incredible cyclical beauty and I started to think of where my place was in all this.  The most impactful part of the experience was what I felt- the mountain supporting my weight, the grass against my skin, and my body creating an obstacle for the cold wind.  I have never felt so connected with the Earth.  We are not just observers of the masterpiece but are also an interacting part of the picture.  And we have the ability I think to still add our own brush strokes, for better or for worse.  This moment was an awakening of sorts for me to keep asking myself if my brush strokes make sense in the big scheme of things or are they working on a different picture.  We can't have two pictures within the same painting and have it look good.  Our only choice is to accept the painting in progress before us and try to coordinate our hands and brushes accordingly.  Love you all!  See some of you soon!

Daydreams of Summer

Back from an extended weekend with a couple good friends out in Fiordland National Park.  As you may know, winter is quickly approaching here.  Although between switching on another cycle of my heater and taking a sip of hot tea, I click through facebook pictures of barefoot friends in green grass and read statuses of barbeques, frisbee, and laying out in the sun.  Even the calendar seems to suggest that it is, in fact, summer time.  I've been having a hard time visualizing summer recently.  I keep expecting Thanksgiving to be on its way and found myself getting giddy for Christmas after seeing the year round lights on the leafless trees downtown. And frankly, laying out in the sun and going for a swim doesn't sound all that appealing to me right now.  For a moment during one of our hikes this weekend, I felt I was on summer vacation.  The academic cloud that hovers above a student with approaching finals lifted and I could picture myself enjoying my time in the wilderness but soon returning to an Omaha summer.  Then a turn in the trail snapped me out of my daydream and back into the dense moss and fern covered forests of New Zealand and just like that, I struggled to remember what summer feels like again.  I don't have the tingly anticipation that I usually get in late April and Early May as days get longer and warmer and the end of school draws nearer and nearer.    My transition period this year will consist of the 3 seconds it takes to pass through the revolving doors at the airport entrance.  I'll let you know if it tingles.  I'm sure I'll find my summer spirit soon after returning.  I'm hoping that during the drive home from the airport, the lush trees, warm air, and tan little sister will remind me what summer is all about.  So enjoy the season my friends; keep the grills hot, the sprinklers spraying,  the laughter plentiful, and the clothes minimal.  I will be joining you shortly.

Early March near Franz Josef Glacier

Summer in the Dunedin Botanic Gardens

St. Clair Beach in February

The Queens Gardens a few days after arriving in Dunedin

Skipping Rocks in Hokitika in early March

Love to you all.

Give and Accept

If you ask me, the Lord of the Rings movies would be much better if condensed down to 2 movies.  The trilogy just seems excessive.   We could have the Fellowship of the Two Towers and then the Return of the King.  Or we could just condense it into one smash hit titled The Fellowship of the Two Kings.  I'm all about being concise.  I had never really seen any of the lord of the rings movies until the past two weeks.  Surprising, maybe because often the first thing people told me when I told them I was going to New Zealand was, "You know the Lord of the Rings was filmed there."  To which I often answered, "I'm aware. The guy to your immediate right and his mother both informed me twice."  At least I wish sometimes I had said that.

Dunedin has finally stepped up to fill the previously vacant position of "home" in the month of May.  Or maybe I finally stepped in the door and took off my coat to stay a while.  Before the break there were aspects of home with me,  I had a few good friends and a familiar flat and warm bed to come back to at the end of the day, but it seemed more like I was still a visitor in someone's home.   I was more cautious of what I said around people who I just met, and while I wandered and explored the house, I kept my hands mainly clasped behind my back so as not to break anything.  Just watching.  After returning from Australia, I feel I've really taken off the shoes and claimed the joint as my own.  Not in an arrogant way, but a comfortable way.  Nothing with Dunedin has changed though so it must be something on the personal level that has.  With the funds and temperature running a bit lower than in February, the incentive to travel has been a bit less and naturally the time around friends has been a bit more.  Everything and everyone seems so much more real now.   Each day we get a better feel for just who the heck it is we've been spending our time with.  Personally, I consider you at friend status if I can take the safety off the dumb jokes gun and just fire at will, without fear of judgement.  Then I'll consider you a good friend if you return fire.  While I haven't even left Dunedin yet this month, I think it's been one of the most exciting because of how well I've gotten to know people and hopefully how well people think they are getting to know me.  It's amazing then, once we have that group of people who we know will accept us, our confidence in other areas of life just explodes.  Suddenly it seems like a whole new world is opened up. I wish I had opened it up faster. I admire people who jump headfirst into friendships right from the start, with few reservations.  Hopefully, I'll be one of those people one of these days.   I think it first starts with not judging myself too harshly.  A quote from a Luc and the Lovingtons song says it best: "We can realize how we treat ourselves is the same way we treat everybody else."  Sometimes after doing something a little strange or off beat I still find myself asking myself, "Who DOES that???"  It took me a while to be comfortable with the answer, "No one!!"  I'm still not completely comfortable with it, but individuality is too awesome of a gift not to share with people!  I'll never get anywhere in life just copying the same things Frank* says or does.  Likewise, I won't learn much if I expect Frank to be just like me or just like someone else.  "Give and take" may not be the best way to describe relationships with others. Sure the giving is fine but what the heck am I stealing from my friends?  I prefer to use, "Give and accept."  Once that happens, I think our circle of friends will grow tremendously and our sense of comfort and home becomes a lot more mobile.  I hope everyone feels good now, because you should.  Have a great day! Sending love your way.  

*Frank is not in reference to anyone in particular but rather just a default name for the sake of an example. 

Thoughts on my faith and others(').

Before you read this I would just like to say that my faith is a work in progress.  It always will be.  These are not ideas I will refuse to change, just what I think right now from my experiences, learning, reading, and thinking.  

  

+ While washing dishes here in Dunedin on Sunday, I think I came across a way to vaguely articulate things I've been tossing around in my head for a long time.  These things mainly involve humanity's purpose in the world, diversity in world views and religions, and where the heck a Christian ethics fits into all of this.   This has come about as a result of my class titled God and Ethics in the Modern world: a class focusing on Christian ethics, the modern western world view, and what happens when you combine these two monster concepts.  When combining the two, a conflict quickly emerges from the secular western world saying "Live and let live" and the Christian ethics saying, in regards to the world created by God and reordered by Jesus, "This, and only this, is true." The western view keeps religion in the private life.  In this view, it is no one’s place to infringe on what others believe and they are entitled to their opinions as long as they are sincere in their beliefs and are not hurting anyone else.  We can never establish the absolute truth and therefore should leave others' beliefs alone and live in non-confrontational peace. In my Christian ethics class, we learned that the idea of being unable to establish a definite truth goes against the fundamentally Christian idea of revelation. That is, God's coming down to humanity through Christ and showing us truth, life, and a renewal of God’s promise to humanity and God’s purpose for the world.  So is it possible to accept diversity of religions while still striving towards God's purpose for the world through Christ?  This, for me, is the big question right now.  If I were Lewis Stevens I would say it were the big papa with the big mapa.

I had a discussion with a man from church on Sunday about this.  I said, "Can't I believe in Christianity without wanting to convert everyone?" He said that our love for people of other faiths should cause us to want them to believe in the Gospel.  If they do not accept it, they are destined for an unpleasant end (hell). The analogy he used was if we saw someone driving their car off a cliff, would we just stand back so as not to disturb their way of life or would we intervene?  I guess the effectiveness of this analogy is based on the assumption that I believe people of other faiths are driving their life off a cliff.  I don’t necessarily think they are driving themselves towards disaster and I don’t think I am in any position to grab ahold of their wheel.   To quote and agree with a friend of mine, I think God is too big to be known in full by any person and I don't think it is my first job to tell people why they should believe in the God I believe in.  To always be feeling that people of other faiths always have something they need to change would seem to get in the way of truly loving people as they are.  I believe there is a difference between wanting to make the world a better place and wanting to make the world a more Christian place.  They may go hand in hand for sure and I'm not saying the spread of Christianity is a bad thing, but I just don't think it should be my number one focus.   My first focus, I believe, should be to love; to love everyone everywhere, and all the time.  I think it is my actions of love and service to my neighbor that should do the talking first, not my mouth.  This way I also have a fighting chance at listening.  We will never argue someone into buying into Christianity.  Even if we could, something bigger has to take place within a person for true beliefs to take root.  Christianity is not so much about accepting a theology as it is entering a relationship with God.  This relationship should come about as a response to God’s love; a love can only be learned through other people, life experiences, and searching.  Christian beliefs ultimately have to be wrestled with and surrendered to by the individual himself.  If conversion happens, I would want it to be sparked as a response to the love I have shown someone not because of my concerted effort to change them.  For Christians, conversion should not be a product of debate and coercion but a response to the love we give and the teachings that can be taken from the example of our actions.  Creating a more Christian world may not always be the best way to bring about God’s purpose for the world, at least not at the cost it would take to bring about such a world.  What would we have if everyone in the world proclaimed themselves to be Christian? We would most likely have the same problems under different titles.   A simple profession of a belief in Jesus as the son of God will not get anyone much closer to salvation let alone bring about serious change in the world.  Walking the walk is crucial.   The power to create  change in the world and in one’s life lies not in their doctrine on paper but in their willingness to give up their material and human agenda and live a life dedicated to service to their brothers, sisters, and the world around them.   I believe a love God would be proud of is too big to pin one doctrine on and has the ability to come in more forms than one.   Martin Luther King, Jr. said in his Drum Major Instinct sermon, “…in Christ there is no North or South but one great fellowship of love.”   I think truly devoting one’s self to this “fellowship of love” is something that can be achieved by Christians and non-Christians alike, just as many Christians and non-Christians have yet to commit themselves to it.  I can still be committed to my beliefs about God and Jesus, and I can have a theological discussion with a Jew or a Muslim or a Sikh about my beliefs and their beliefs, and why we believe them to be true and why we think our beliefs are ones the world should live by, but the differences in our specifics, titles, and rituals are not what is most important.  In a diverse and connected humanity, what is most important is the service and love towards others guided by a purpose based in a vision of making this old world a new world. +

Give me some feedback if you want!  I'd love to hear what you think.  For now, off with the lights and off to bed.  Love you all.